I love my friends…

March 12, 2011

I love my friends. Today I dragged Ch to brunch – and the whole way there we “argued” about me selling the house. I said all the reasons I want/need to – she said all the reasons I should wait.  The funny part is, if I said I wanted to keep the house, she would argue all the reasons I should sell it.  I love that she does that to make sure I know what the hell I’m doing with my life.

After I ran into Je.  She’s going through some tough stuff, and has been hard to get ahold of.  She gave me the best hug ever and wouldn’t let me go. I hope that she’ll let me be there for her while she’s dealing with everything.

Anyway – thought I would share some love.

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Sell the House, Don’t Sell the House

March 10, 2011

I’m going crazy. I’m dead set on selling my house so that I don’t feel so tied down and can be in the neighborhood that I want to be in.  *sigh* But nothing is ever that easy. I just bought a nice dishwasher and stove – the kitchen is what I’ve always wanted my kitchen to be. Maybe it’s not so bad?  I walk outside and see the mess my neighbors leave me. Ugh – I want to move. Nice spring-ey day. I can’t wait for a BBQ, maybe I want to stay. I hate yard work. Ugh. I want to move.

I did my budgets.  I feel like I’m in a crappy place with money.  I pay all my bills, I live comfortably, I get the nice things that I need (veggies from a farm, a good gym, etc) – but I live paycheck to paycheck and I have $400 a month left over for groceries/spending.

I sell the house, I can pay off all my debts, pay off my car, and at the end of the day – I live paycheck to paycheck and have about $400 a month left over in my budget. (roommates paying rent cover the extra expenses of a house).

*sigh* What do I do? I feel like I really want to get rid of the house, yet I will miss the house.

Pros of having the house:

  • BBQs – I have an AMAZING yard.
  • The dog gets to run out the door off-leash
  • HUGE awesome kitchen (Wine Fridge, new appliances, etc)
  • Space for people to stay (not that many do)
  • Short Commute (Although, with a car, the North End-Work commute is only 10 minutes.)
  • There is really not much more that can break.

Cons of having the house:

  • Emergency House Expenses – I’m broke!
  • I hate East Boston – the dirty streets and nothing right outside my door to do.
  • Debt.
  • I hate yard work, but can’t afford to hire someone.
  • Renting out the house so I can live in the north end isn’t financially feasible with the debt I have, and I would still be responsible for crap that breaks.

Pros of Selling the House

  • Being in the North End
  • Get rid of ALL debt except Student Loans
  • Being in the North End
  • No More Roommates!
  • Being in the North End

Cons of Selling the House

  • No walking home for lunch.
  • I will get less money now than I would later (But how much really? Appliances will be older, construction will be older)

Random Friday – On a TUESDAY!

January 17, 2011

Apple TV Edition

1) Kisses  by Tracy Bonham – mmm….reminds me of college.

2) Detroit Waves by Matt Nathanson – reminds me of my first summer in Boston.

3) Secret by Mieka Pauley – Love her!

4) I’ll Be There by Jackson 5 – I’m not even sure where this song came from, but I dig it.

5) Can I Stay by Ray LaMontagne – I don’t really know this song, but it does remind me of getting my heart broken.

6) Window by Fiona Apple – I can’t imagine this one. The ones that have lied to me have never been up front and said it…they were cowards.

7) Beautiful Wreck by Shawn Mullins – mmm….Seattle.  I miss my old YJ and cruising around with the top down.

8) Share Your Love With Me by Susan Tedeschi – I love this woman, but when I hear this I think of the Aretha version and cruising my YJ on the Ocean City Sand Dunes with the boys.  Being the only girl out there, I either had my hair in a had and Aretha blasting, or hair all over the place and Beastie Boys blasting.  Had to let them know a girl could keep up.

9) Heavenly Day by Patty Griffin – see #7

10) I Want to Be Your Lover by Prince – I have no idea where this came from AND I don’t even know the song. Curious.  As I went to delete it, I have two versions of it. OK, that’s weird.

This was fun. 🙂

Men I’m Glad I Didn’t Marry and the Lessons I Learned

January 16, 2011

Keith #1 – Keith was my high school sweetheart.  We loved each other sooo much, and were so happy any time we were around each other.  He treated me like a princess, and he was my prince.  He gave me my freedom when I went away to college, and I came back engaged to someone else.  I broke his heart, and I feel like karma is still kicking my ass for it.  We dated again briefly in college, which was amazing, but fell apart due to family issues. He knocked up some girl that when he first dated he said she reminded him of me.  Because he is the loyal, wonderful person he is, he married her, and they are raising the child.  I dream that he and I are together sometimes, but now that he lives the suburbs life, and I could never, I don’t see it happening.  Even though it was hard – I had to let go of him to grow as my own person. We always joked that we would meet up at our 50th  high school reunion and end up getting married as old farts.  Never marry a guy when you are young and *know* that you have growing to do.

John – John was the guy I came home from college engaged to. He was awesome, fun, total goofball, and used to call me from Kuwait to profess his love.  I fell for him, hard, and actually got engaged to him.  I remember the night he proposed – he drove all night after work (he lived 6 hours away), and raced to my door – the moment I opened it, he got down on his knee and proposed. It was amazing.  One night about a year later I saw a violent side of him that scared me to death, and I left the next day.  Never marry someone you are at all scared of.

Michael – Michael and I had an instant connection. He was told to “amuse me” while I waited for one of his colleges at his work. He spent 20 minutes hanging out with me. I went home and couldn’t get him out of my mind. I called him the next morning at his work, and invited him to lunch.  He came over that day and took me out for my first time having sushi, and we had lunch – which ended up lasting 12 hours.  The chemistry between us was spectacular. I found out, after a tumultuous year long “relationship” that  Michael was in a long distance marriage, AND when I met him was “engaged” to even another woman – who he was with when we were together.  I spent another year off and on with him while he said he was sorting out his life. Turns out he was never trying to sort anything out, he was just a liar.  Never marry someone who you know lies to you – no matter the chemistry.

Keith #2 – Keith is an awesome guy.  We shared a love of wheeling that ended up being a competition.  We were both a little too strong headed to get along sometimes.  I think we’ve both calmed down since then – at least he has since he had a kid.  His family loved me, and still regularly donate to fund raising efforts I do.  All around fabulous. Never marry a guy that pisses you off so much you actually want to punch him.

Daniel – I was not attracted to him at first, nor he to me, but we ended up together for over a year. My friends and family all though he talked down to me. They were right. In the end, we took a two week break where I went out of town to visit friends.  Through the whole 2 weeks he begged me to come back, but I found out that the day I left he put up a personal ad looking for someone new because he was so scared to be alone. Never marry a man that highlights your insecurities so he feels better about his.

Jimmy – Jimmy was awesome.  He was fun, bubbly, awesome to me and my friends.  He will make someone a wonderful husband. He wanted to be married with a house in the burbs, 2.4 kids, and a dog. I wanted to explore and be a little more free.  I can’t see myself ever living in the suburbs or having kids. I told him this the day I met him.  He moved to the city with me and swore that his nephew was enough for him.  Never marry a guy willing to give up his dreams for you – you will only feel like shit for it.

Chris – I met Chris on some backwards personal ad I wrote looking for an adventure buddy for my trip to Boston. I planned to hang out with him because he seemed cool, but the age difference made me think I would NEVER be attracted to him.  I fell in love with him the night I met him. We spent 3 days together – which kicked off a summer of traveling between our two cities, camping, sports games, and the most amazing sex of my life.  One day Chris just disappeared.  When he brought himself back to my life, he gave me story about how he was too in love with me to be with me – which led to almost 2 years of random turmoil every time he showed up at my door. We had everything in common – camping, sports, music, dining…it was amazing.  It killed me to let him go. The idea that I let someone continue to hurt me like that is insane to everyone who knows me.  Whenever we hung out, I forgot the bad things.I’ve learned that no matter how strong you think you are, someone will always be able to break through. One weekend on the Jersey Shore we talked about running away to Vegas to get married.  He wanted to face his fears and settle down with me.  I wanted to be loved by him.  Years later, I found out many despicable things about him.  Never marry a man who is “scared” to be with you – if he wants to be with you, he will.

Well, that’s all of them so far. We’ll see what happens in the future. I’ve spent a lot of time alone lately, and have found many things about myself I’d like to deal with before I even deal with this kind of relationship again.

Another Year Gone…

January 16, 2011

So I did this a few years ago – and it was fun to read the post now.  And here I spent an entire year with no blogging!  Well, I have, just on other blogs.

This past year…

– I graduated from Northeastern with a Masters in Education.  I still don’t really have any feelings about it, and I’m not sure I even viewed it as an “accomplishment” so much as “something to be done to get a raise.”  I am enjoying the raise though. The highlight was my dad and my friend (Ch) coming to visit. We had an awesome big BBQ at the house with a bunch of friends.

– I finished renovation and moved into this giant giant house. I love the house. It’s fully renovated, has great space, and is cheap.  That being said, I’m broke ($500 gas bill?!?  Are you kidding?!?), and I don’t do anything but crap around the house. I took in two roommates (who are both fricken awesome!). That being said…

– I decided to sell my house.  I just don’t want this tying me down.  If I were to own a house, this would be the one I’d own…but I don’t! I hate being responsible to shovel the snow. I hate that the blown up water heater is something I have to pay for instead of something I call someone for. I need to get rid of this thing.  On the bright side – when I sell it I will make a chunk of change.  Enough to pay off debts and perhaps do something fun.  Like…

– I decided to go to culinary school.  Hopefully I will have enough money to pay for this outright. I’ve toyed with the idea of Pastry school before Culinary – but either way, I am heading back to school at night.

– I quit my job and decided to move to Canada. Things failed miserably after the trip to Toronto (I wanted to move there – I hated it). I’m still putting in my paperwork to become a permanent resident in Canada, but I’m not going to move there and go to Culinary School next year. My friends here (Ch & Je) talked me into staying. Perhaps I will enjoy teaching when I’m not tied down to this house and have money in my pocket?

– I won a National NSTA fellowship and got to go to Philly for the annual conference. I took my boyfriend at the time (La). Thankfully, got rid of him shortly after.

– I traveled a little. Spring training again (Yankees, Nationals, and Tigers again), Dominican Republic with Pa, and I didn’t do much during the summer (masters masters masters).

There ya go. My year in a nutshell. You may notice that I am not all that excited about things. It’s true.  I really need the weight of this house off my shoulders.

A House. No, seriously. A House.

May 13, 2009

I bought a house.  I keep saying it over and over. I bought a house.  A cute house. I shit you not – it has a picket fence.  It looks like houses look when little kids draw them.  A square, a triangle, and a chimney.

I’m excited.  I’m petrified.  I can’t wait to move in.  I don’t want to leave the North End.  I always said I would never buy a house. It would be easier for me to get married than to buy a house.  But, I saw this one, and like my baby jeep I got last summer – I knew it was mine.

It’s almost like I’m grown up.

I miss this.

May 13, 2009

I miss posting stuff. I post on twitter, sure.  But, I miss writing random things.  Maybe I’ll start again.

Maybe shorter?  Maybe more pictures.

Another Year Gone…

December 31, 2007

So the only blogging I did was to post some restaurant reviews!  Bad, Bad me!  I’ve had so much to say this past year, but got so swamped with school, work, casts, life….you know. The basic excuses.

So – the past year. What has happened?

– I moved to the North End. I love it here. I’ve actually thought about buying a place here. THAT is how much I love it.  It won’t happen any time soon.

– I became a Physics teacher.  Strange, since I haven’t passed the Physics MTEL, and I’m licensed in Math. But, this gave me a great position at school, and I hope to pass the MTEL this spring.

– I switched schools. I stopped the math program at Harvard, and am working on a Physics program at BU.  I’m going to attempt the GREs this year and try to get into BU.  Wish me luck!!

– I finally went back to spring training. This time in Florida. I had so much fun – went with someone who became a great friend (Tm) through the year, but I have recently had a falling out with.  I’m pretty bummed about that.

– I went to Chicago with school, and hit up a Cubbies game. Went to NY for a Yankees game and met a new friend (Mg) on the bus ride home.  I hung out with an old friend in NY (Lr), and even made it back to Sea-town for Turkey day to visit old friends (Ph and Tf).

– My family seems to be on the right track.  Both brothers and sis have 1 year olds, and it seemed to settle everyone down. Nice.

So much happened this past year!  On to the next one!

North End Eats – Giacomo’s Restaurant

April 26, 2007

Dinner – Wednesday, April 25, 2007 – Every time I’ve been by this place, I see a huge line out the door. I never knew why, since it’s cash only (I hate that), no reservations, and there’s a million super places on the same street.  We showed up at about 4:45, early for dinner, and had to wait outside in the rain, even though there was someone inside eating, and they knew we were waiting.

The server we had wasn’t fun, but the food was awesome, so I guess that made up for the annoying broad.

On the other hand – why is there always a line?  Turns out, this place has $17 bottles of wine.  Tons of them.  AND a $37 bottle of BAROLO!  I LOVE that stuff!

I had grilled salmon with tons of fabulous veggies.  They were good, but not marinated in anything, or anything more than I could have made at home. Except with a $37 bottle of Barolo.

North End Eats – Bacco

April 23, 2007

Dinner – Sunday, April 22, 2007 – The sun was shining, and the doors were swung wide open down the whole side of the building – beckoning me, asking me to come and hang out. Seriously, it was calling my name!

I started off with a fabulous glass of wine (although I don’t remember which one?), and then moved on to an super yummy caprese appetizer. I thought it was a little small for the price ($10) – with just 4 small chunks of chese, 3 slices of tomato, and a little mixed greens. Apparently, it also comes with some sort of giant “crouton.”

Dinner was just another appetizer, one of the specials, which was a stuffed pepper. It was stuffed with ground beef, rice, peppers, tomatoes, something else, something else….oh it was SO YUMMY!!