Archive for January, 2011

Random Friday – On a TUESDAY!

January 17, 2011

Apple TV Edition

1) Kisses  by Tracy Bonham – mmm….reminds me of college.

2) Detroit Waves by Matt Nathanson – reminds me of my first summer in Boston.

3) Secret by Mieka Pauley – Love her!

4) I’ll Be There by Jackson 5 – I’m not even sure where this song came from, but I dig it.

5) Can I Stay by Ray LaMontagne – I don’t really know this song, but it does remind me of getting my heart broken.

6) Window by Fiona Apple – I can’t imagine this one. The ones that have lied to me have never been up front and said it…they were cowards.

7) Beautiful Wreck by Shawn Mullins – mmm….Seattle.  I miss my old YJ and cruising around with the top down.

8) Share Your Love With Me by Susan Tedeschi – I love this woman, but when I hear this I think of the Aretha version and cruising my YJ on the Ocean City Sand Dunes with the boys.  Being the only girl out there, I either had my hair in a had and Aretha blasting, or hair all over the place and Beastie Boys blasting.  Had to let them know a girl could keep up.

9) Heavenly Day by Patty Griffin – see #7

10) I Want to Be Your Lover by Prince – I have no idea where this came from AND I don’t even know the song. Curious.  As I went to delete it, I have two versions of it. OK, that’s weird.

This was fun. 🙂

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Men I’m Glad I Didn’t Marry and the Lessons I Learned

January 16, 2011

Keith #1 – Keith was my high school sweetheart.  We loved each other sooo much, and were so happy any time we were around each other.  He treated me like a princess, and he was my prince.  He gave me my freedom when I went away to college, and I came back engaged to someone else.  I broke his heart, and I feel like karma is still kicking my ass for it.  We dated again briefly in college, which was amazing, but fell apart due to family issues. He knocked up some girl that when he first dated he said she reminded him of me.  Because he is the loyal, wonderful person he is, he married her, and they are raising the child.  I dream that he and I are together sometimes, but now that he lives the suburbs life, and I could never, I don’t see it happening.  Even though it was hard – I had to let go of him to grow as my own person. We always joked that we would meet up at our 50th  high school reunion and end up getting married as old farts.  Never marry a guy when you are young and *know* that you have growing to do.

John – John was the guy I came home from college engaged to. He was awesome, fun, total goofball, and used to call me from Kuwait to profess his love.  I fell for him, hard, and actually got engaged to him.  I remember the night he proposed – he drove all night after work (he lived 6 hours away), and raced to my door – the moment I opened it, he got down on his knee and proposed. It was amazing.  One night about a year later I saw a violent side of him that scared me to death, and I left the next day.  Never marry someone you are at all scared of.

Michael – Michael and I had an instant connection. He was told to “amuse me” while I waited for one of his colleges at his work. He spent 20 minutes hanging out with me. I went home and couldn’t get him out of my mind. I called him the next morning at his work, and invited him to lunch.  He came over that day and took me out for my first time having sushi, and we had lunch – which ended up lasting 12 hours.  The chemistry between us was spectacular. I found out, after a tumultuous year long “relationship” that  Michael was in a long distance marriage, AND when I met him was “engaged” to even another woman – who he was with when we were together.  I spent another year off and on with him while he said he was sorting out his life. Turns out he was never trying to sort anything out, he was just a liar.  Never marry someone who you know lies to you – no matter the chemistry.

Keith #2 – Keith is an awesome guy.  We shared a love of wheeling that ended up being a competition.  We were both a little too strong headed to get along sometimes.  I think we’ve both calmed down since then – at least he has since he had a kid.  His family loved me, and still regularly donate to fund raising efforts I do.  All around fabulous. Never marry a guy that pisses you off so much you actually want to punch him.

Daniel – I was not attracted to him at first, nor he to me, but we ended up together for over a year. My friends and family all though he talked down to me. They were right. In the end, we took a two week break where I went out of town to visit friends.  Through the whole 2 weeks he begged me to come back, but I found out that the day I left he put up a personal ad looking for someone new because he was so scared to be alone. Never marry a man that highlights your insecurities so he feels better about his.

Jimmy – Jimmy was awesome.  He was fun, bubbly, awesome to me and my friends.  He will make someone a wonderful husband. He wanted to be married with a house in the burbs, 2.4 kids, and a dog. I wanted to explore and be a little more free.  I can’t see myself ever living in the suburbs or having kids. I told him this the day I met him.  He moved to the city with me and swore that his nephew was enough for him.  Never marry a guy willing to give up his dreams for you – you will only feel like shit for it.

Chris – I met Chris on some backwards personal ad I wrote looking for an adventure buddy for my trip to Boston. I planned to hang out with him because he seemed cool, but the age difference made me think I would NEVER be attracted to him.  I fell in love with him the night I met him. We spent 3 days together – which kicked off a summer of traveling between our two cities, camping, sports games, and the most amazing sex of my life.  One day Chris just disappeared.  When he brought himself back to my life, he gave me story about how he was too in love with me to be with me – which led to almost 2 years of random turmoil every time he showed up at my door. We had everything in common – camping, sports, music, dining…it was amazing.  It killed me to let him go. The idea that I let someone continue to hurt me like that is insane to everyone who knows me.  Whenever we hung out, I forgot the bad things.I’ve learned that no matter how strong you think you are, someone will always be able to break through. One weekend on the Jersey Shore we talked about running away to Vegas to get married.  He wanted to face his fears and settle down with me.  I wanted to be loved by him.  Years later, I found out many despicable things about him.  Never marry a man who is “scared” to be with you – if he wants to be with you, he will.

Well, that’s all of them so far. We’ll see what happens in the future. I’ve spent a lot of time alone lately, and have found many things about myself I’d like to deal with before I even deal with this kind of relationship again.

Another Year Gone…

January 16, 2011

So I did this a few years ago – and it was fun to read the post now.  And here I spent an entire year with no blogging!  Well, I have, just on other blogs.

This past year…

– I graduated from Northeastern with a Masters in Education.  I still don’t really have any feelings about it, and I’m not sure I even viewed it as an “accomplishment” so much as “something to be done to get a raise.”  I am enjoying the raise though. The highlight was my dad and my friend (Ch) coming to visit. We had an awesome big BBQ at the house with a bunch of friends.

– I finished renovation and moved into this giant giant house. I love the house. It’s fully renovated, has great space, and is cheap.  That being said, I’m broke ($500 gas bill?!?  Are you kidding?!?), and I don’t do anything but crap around the house. I took in two roommates (who are both fricken awesome!). That being said…

– I decided to sell my house.  I just don’t want this tying me down.  If I were to own a house, this would be the one I’d own…but I don’t! I hate being responsible to shovel the snow. I hate that the blown up water heater is something I have to pay for instead of something I call someone for. I need to get rid of this thing.  On the bright side – when I sell it I will make a chunk of change.  Enough to pay off debts and perhaps do something fun.  Like…

– I decided to go to culinary school.  Hopefully I will have enough money to pay for this outright. I’ve toyed with the idea of Pastry school before Culinary – but either way, I am heading back to school at night.

– I quit my job and decided to move to Canada. Things failed miserably after the trip to Toronto (I wanted to move there – I hated it). I’m still putting in my paperwork to become a permanent resident in Canada, but I’m not going to move there and go to Culinary School next year. My friends here (Ch & Je) talked me into staying. Perhaps I will enjoy teaching when I’m not tied down to this house and have money in my pocket?

– I won a National NSTA fellowship and got to go to Philly for the annual conference. I took my boyfriend at the time (La). Thankfully, got rid of him shortly after.

– I traveled a little. Spring training again (Yankees, Nationals, and Tigers again), Dominican Republic with Pa, and I didn’t do much during the summer (masters masters masters).

There ya go. My year in a nutshell. You may notice that I am not all that excited about things. It’s true.  I really need the weight of this house off my shoulders.